How can mothers be helpful in grooming their daughter’s behavior?
Adolescence is like a trying time, it is a preparation phase for adulthood and the major part of the personality shapes up then. It is marked by identity crisis, contradictory behavior patterns exploration of limits, search for validation, which ultimately forms beliefs, values, and guide external behavior.
An adolescent girl is not at the stage where her mother is, but is striving to reach there, she is not a girl yet not a woman .Its an important preparatory phase so the mother should be more of a friend, guiding her daughter but allowing her to take certain risks to give her a strong sense of self and individuality.
The role of the mother involves adapting the following roles-
Supportive
Provide guidance
Understanding
Maintain open communication channels to sustain comfort and awareness
Provide them with a sense of right or wrong
Instill the appropriate values
Help reach important decisions
Be empathetic
Be patient (with erratic maturational changes)
Be accepting
Be non judgmental
Be encouraging and motivating
Must respect individuality and freedom of choice- (suggest and not impose decisions)
Maintain a balance between being a friend and a disciplinarian
All this will foster a secure and trusting environment for an all round development.
The security thus generated will enhance the bond between the mother and the child in turn.
How can adolescents brush up their personality?
Perhaps the most important realization that an individual can make in their quest for personal growth is that there is no single formula that defines the path to personal success. We all have different goals and priorities, which means that different activities and attitudes will make us feel good about ourselves. We also have different natural strengths and weaknesses that are a part of our inherent personality type.
1. Understand What's Important to You
· Each personality type has a different idea of what it means to be successful. Self-knowledge is one common goal that will help everyone achieve personal success. So many people are hung up on somebody else's idea of what it means to be successful, and they are unaware of what is truly important to them.
· If we spend our time and effort trying to meet somebody else's idea of success, and ignore or belittle any conflicting messages from our own psyche, then we will find ourselves exhausted and unhappy. Realizing what is truly important to us is a major step towards achieving personal success.
2. Recognize Your Weaknesses Without Hiding Behind Them
· While improving our self-knowledge and realizing our true goals can be very liberating, we should not discard the rules of the society in which we live.
· We must recognize that other people's value systems are no less important than our own.
· We must recognize and accept that we live in a society in which certain personality types and behaviors are more suited towards particular tasks. This is the second key that will open the door towards personal growth.
· For example, there are situations in which it is more appropriate and effective to show compassion and caring (Feeling), rather than impersonal logic (Thinking).
· Likewise, there are situations that call for using impersonal logic to make a decision, in which the more subjective viewpoint of the Feeling function is inappropriate and ineffective. Persons with a preference for Feeling will have a natural advantage over Thinkers in situations that require compassion and awareness of other's emotions.
· Conversely, persons with a preference for Thinking will have a natural advantage over Feelers in situations that require the ability to make a decision based on impersonal data.
· These insights are extremely useful and powerful to us as individuals. However, if we are concerned with growing as individuals, we must take care not to use personality type as an excuse for our inappropriate behavior.
3. Strive for Balance
· Most of the weaknesses associated with any given personality type are a result of that type's dominant function overtaking the personality to the extent that the other functions become slaves to the dominant function.
· Although it is natural for every personality to be ruled by its dominant function, it becomes a problem when the supporting functions are not allowed to develop fully on their own.
In such cases, a personality can become quite imbalanced.
4. Opening the Door
· Carl Jung identified a process of personal growth that he called individuation, which is essentially the conscious realization of your true self, beyond the Ego that is presented by your conscious self.
· Our efforts to help people develop themselves is essentially the effort to help them to realize that their personal perspectives and conscious ideas are only a small part of who they are, and that the more they try to develop and defend this superficial "self", the further they get away from their true Self.
· This realization helps a psyche in many concrete ways, and is also a positive step towards promoting a psyche that is open to the process of individuation.
· An improved understanding of yourself and others will help you to find, follow or expand your path. An awareness and acceptance of the fact that one personality function may be more effective than another function in a given situation will help you to understand the relevance of personal growth to your life.
